Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be known as busybodies.
Notwithstanding, it is time to put an end to the conservative Christians’
persecution by the secular left. As a lifelong member of the latter, it
behooves me to take a stand before it is too late. Since the 2016 elections are
looming, we need to end the war now so that at least a small portion of the
election season can be devoted to addressing real issues. Accordingly, let me
proffer a two pronged olive branch in the interests of peace as follows:
I.
PLAN A-TOTAL SURRENDER AND CAPITULATION BY THE SECULAR
LEFT; or
II.
PLAN B-TRY A LITTLE TOLERANCE ON THE RIGHT
Let us take a moment to explore Plan A.
This Plan has only two prerequisites. First, the conservative Christians
(hereinafter referred to as the “Persecuted”) need to prove the existence of
their deity. Objective proof of the existence of the Persecuted’s deity will go
a long way towards forcing the narrow minded secular lefties to consider the
potential benefits to establishing and enforcing the dictates of a theocracy.
Second, the Persecuted need to prove their
credentials to make representations on behalf of the deity established in step
one. Unfortunately, just proving the existence of their deity will not suffice,
since there are over 40,000 different Christian sects and countless
non-Christian sects. Accordingly, if the Persecuted want the slavish devotion
of secular lefties, they must demonstrate that their word is the one, true,
infallible Word.
Given the difficulties in providing proof
of the existence of the Persecuted’s deity, let us take a moment to consider
Plan B. Plan B is really simple. All the Persecuted have to do is acknowledge
that not everyone agrees with them. Given the aforesaid over 40,000 Christian
sects alone, even the Persecuted do not agree amongst themselves. This lack of
agreement or even consensus need not affect the Persecuted’s core beliefs. It
only requires them to accept that their beliefs are only their beliefs, and
that said beliefs may not be shared by others. The secular lefties already
understand that not everyone believes exactly what they believe.
In practice, accepting the concept that
other people may not share the Persecuted’s beliefs will require some
behavioral modifications. The Persecuted’s deity always agrees with whatever
the Persecuted want. It hates whatever the Persecuted hate. But this
personalized deity only works for the Persecuted, and not for anyone else. Accordingly,
when making representations on behalf of the deity, the Persecuted will have to
learn to use the possessive adjective “my”. For example, “My God hates ______
(insert appropriate hated object, i.e. Jews, Blacks, Feminists, non-sculpted
body types, avocados, Jayhawks).” Eventually, the repeated use of the adjective
“my” will help the Persecuted understand just how narrow minded, bigoted and
obnoxious they are when directing, commanding or dictating how everyone who is
different from the Persecuted has to live her or his life.
Once the Persecuted accept the simple
concept that not everyone agrees with them, the “War on Christians” will be
over. A brave new world of perceptions will arise in which everyone is entitled
to their own beliefs without the need to reinforce their insecurities over said
beliefs by forcing others to join in said beliefs. AND THE LAND SHALL KNOW
PEACE AT LAST.
CK copyright 2015. Moral rights to be
identified as the author of the foregoing article asserted worldwide (including
in Great Britain in accordance with Sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright,
Designs and Patent Act of 1988)
