Wednesday, August 19, 2015


                They went to Europe and kicked Fascists’ and Nazis’ asses. They went to the south Pacific and fought off hoards of slant-eyed devils. They came home and got houses and cars and a wife and two kids. Their word at home was the law. They got middle level management jobs and spanked and screwed their secretaries. They said hosannas at the feet of Joe McCarthy. All was right with the world. Then the world passed them by.
                The 1960’s came and their world ended. Suddenly they couldn’t refuse to hire minorities or give all of the choice work solely to white males. You could even get sued for pinching your secretary’s ass. Then by the time free love came into vogue, their hair lines were receding and their washboard abs were washed out.
                It only got worse over the next two decades. Sure they learned how to use a Dictaphone. But they still had to call their kids to come over and hook up the VCR and the Atari. Then came the computer age. The more adventuresome had the kids set up an AOL account. Some of them actually learned how to send an email.
But technology was moving too quickly. Computers shrank in size and phones grew beyond Alexander Graham Bell’s wildest imaginings. Information was too readily available to too many people. But too much information is overwhelming. People needed an escape from reality, at least for a couple of hours. And thus was born the Massive Multiplayer Online Role Play Game. While providing peace of mind to countless youth, it did nothing to alleviate the mental anguish of The Greatest Generation who don’t live grafted to their computers and smart phones. MMORPG didn’t work because the “O” was missing from their lives. Fox News gallantly rose up and filled the void.
                MMORPGs create fantasy worlds where you can travel to other worlds, shoot monsters, engage in felonies without fear of punishment, wage war, and make love without worrying about safe sex. Fox News provides an idyllic world where the 1950’s are brought back to life. For hours every day, one can sit back and listen to vapid blondes talking about how a woman can only be happy if she is married and how she needs to submit to her husband. Balding, overweight men will pontificate about the evils of premarital sex, abortion,  welfare, immigration and the relentless war on Christianity. In short, Fox News is nothing more than a Massive Multiplayer Role Play Game.

                Instead of letting Fox News raise your blood pressure because of a lack of factual foundation for their reporting, just recognize Fox News for what it is, a MMRPG. Facts have no relevance. In a fantasy world, the world builders control reality. Accordingly, the facts are whatever the world builders want them to be. If they want pigs to fly, then pigs will fly. If they think taking healthcare away from millions of people and controlling a woman’s body is best for society, then these things, indeed, are best for society. Just remember that it is only best for society so long as you remain immersed in the MMRPG. Once you reenter the real world, just as it is no longer permissible to steal cars or blow things up, the Fox News fantasies must be left behind.

CK Copyright 2015; Moral rights to be identified as the author of the foregoing story asserted worldwide (including in Great Britain in accordance with Sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patent Act of 1988) 

Tuesday, June 23, 2015


Alexx Starnes and I are proud to announce our new children's book is available at Amazon.

Seven short stories about the adventures of Oswin Waddles, the manx kitten adventurer. With her best friend Puffie the Fluffie, Oswin explores, hunts, decorates a cake, designs jewelry and makes new friends. She learns valuable life lessons along the way.

Includes genuine color photos of the black and white kitten. 

Sunday, June 7, 2015


     Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be known as busybodies. Notwithstanding, it is time to put an end to the conservative Christians’ persecution by the secular left. As a lifelong member of the latter, it behooves me to take a stand before it is too late. Since the 2016 elections are looming, we need to end the war now so that at least a small portion of the election season can be devoted to addressing real issues. Accordingly, let me proffer a two pronged olive branch in the interests of peace as follows:
     Let us take a moment to explore Plan A. This Plan has only two prerequisites. First, the conservative Christians (hereinafter referred to as the “Persecuted”) need to prove the existence of their deity. Objective proof of the existence of the Persecuted’s deity will go a long way towards forcing the narrow minded secular lefties to consider the potential benefits to establishing and enforcing the dictates of a theocracy.
     Second, the Persecuted need to prove their credentials to make representations on behalf of the deity established in step one. Unfortunately, just proving the existence of their deity will not suffice, since there are over 40,000 different Christian sects and countless non-Christian sects. Accordingly, if the Persecuted want the slavish devotion of secular lefties, they must demonstrate that their word is the one, true, infallible Word.
     Given the difficulties in providing proof of the existence of the Persecuted’s deity, let us take a moment to consider Plan B. Plan B is really simple. All the Persecuted have to do is acknowledge that not everyone agrees with them. Given the aforesaid over 40,000 Christian sects alone, even the Persecuted do not agree amongst themselves. This lack of agreement or even consensus need not affect the Persecuted’s core beliefs. It only requires them to accept that their beliefs are only their beliefs, and that said beliefs may not be shared by others. The secular lefties already understand that not everyone believes exactly what they believe.
     In practice, accepting the concept that other people may not share the Persecuted’s beliefs will require some behavioral modifications. The Persecuted’s deity always agrees with whatever the Persecuted want. It hates whatever the Persecuted hate. But this personalized deity only works for the Persecuted, and not for anyone else. Accordingly, when making representations on behalf of the deity, the Persecuted will have to learn to use the possessive adjective “my”. For example, “My God hates ______ (insert appropriate hated object, i.e. Jews, Blacks, Feminists, non-sculpted body types, avocados, Jayhawks).” Eventually, the repeated use of the adjective “my” will help the Persecuted understand just how narrow minded, bigoted and obnoxious they are when directing, commanding or dictating how everyone who is different from the Persecuted has to live her or his life.
     Once the Persecuted accept the simple concept that not everyone agrees with them, the “War on Christians” will be over. A brave new world of perceptions will arise in which everyone is entitled to their own beliefs without the need to reinforce their insecurities over said beliefs by forcing others to join in said beliefs. AND THE LAND SHALL KNOW PEACE AT LAST.

CK copyright 2015. Moral rights to be identified as the author of the foregoing article asserted worldwide (including in Great Britain in accordance with Sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patent Act of 1988)