They
went to Europe and kicked Fascists’ and Nazis’ asses. They went to the south
Pacific and fought off hoards of slant-eyed devils. They came home and got
houses and cars and a wife and two kids. Their word at home was the law. They
got middle level management jobs and spanked and screwed their secretaries.
They said hosannas at the feet of Joe McCarthy. All was right with the world.
Then the world passed them by.
The
1960’s came and their world ended. Suddenly they couldn’t refuse to hire
minorities or give all of the choice work solely to white males. You could even
get sued for pinching your secretary’s ass. Then by the time free love came
into vogue, their hair lines were receding and their washboard abs were washed
out.
It
only got worse over the next two decades. Sure they learned how to use a Dictaphone.
But they still had to call their kids to come over and hook up the VCR and the
Atari. Then came the computer age. The more adventuresome had the kids set up
an AOL account. Some of them actually learned how to send an email.
But technology was
moving too quickly. Computers shrank in size and phones grew beyond Alexander
Graham Bell’s wildest imaginings. Information was too readily available to too
many people. But too much information is overwhelming. People needed an escape
from reality, at least for a couple of hours. And thus was born the Massive
Multiplayer Online Role Play Game. While providing peace of mind to countless
youth, it did nothing to alleviate the mental anguish of The Greatest
Generation who don’t live grafted to their computers and smart phones. MMORPG
didn’t work because the “O” was missing from their lives. Fox News gallantly
rose up and filled the void.
MMORPGs
create fantasy worlds where you can travel to other worlds, shoot monsters,
engage in felonies without fear of punishment, wage war, and make love without
worrying about safe sex. Fox News provides an idyllic world where the 1950’s
are brought back to life. For hours every day, one can sit back and listen to
vapid blondes talking about how a woman can only be happy if she is married and
how she needs to submit to her husband. Balding, overweight men will pontificate
about the evils of premarital sex, abortion,
welfare, immigration and the relentless war on Christianity. In short,
Fox News is nothing more than a Massive Multiplayer Role Play Game.
Instead
of letting Fox News raise your blood pressure because of a lack of factual
foundation for their reporting, just recognize Fox News for what it is, a
MMRPG. Facts have no relevance. In a fantasy world, the world builders control
reality. Accordingly, the facts are whatever the world builders want them to
be. If they want pigs to fly, then pigs will fly. If they think taking
healthcare away from millions of people and controlling a woman’s body is best
for society, then these things, indeed, are best for society. Just remember that
it is only best for society so long as you remain immersed in the MMRPG. Once
you reenter the real world, just as it is no longer permissible to steal cars
or blow things up, the Fox News fantasies must be left behind.
CK
Copyright 2015; Moral rights to be identified as the author of the foregoing story
asserted worldwide (including in Great Britain in accordance with Sections 77
and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patent Act of 1988)
